So, you are telling me that a 10.4 tog duvet is not ok for a 3-year-old…

Parenting…. Well I may as well start somewhere at the beginning and explain a little about myself.

Prior to Olivia, I was that person that thought having a kid would be easy.  By that I mean I had seen all the beautiful pictures on Facebook, the ‘perfect’ moments, the day trips out and the holidays that just looked so relaxing.  I was also that person that said that I would limit time on screens… I write this as my daughter is watching ‘Bing’ stealing a few moments before we need to leave the flat in the next 15 minutes…

Fast forward to now, and well it is not quite how I imagined it, and a quite different me!  I do limit screen time as much as I can, however there are those days that… well a mum needs a break!

I am now clear in the picture that parenting is not easy, and it is not like all those photo’s I see on Facebook.

Being a parent is in fact the hardest job I have ever had, and I was a nursery nurse for 13 years and looked after, sometimes, 30 kids in one room!  That is however so much easier than being handed this tiny little human being that does not come with instructions.  Now there are many different stories I will tell you along the way in this blog, like the breastfeeding or lack of, the PND and the fact that I almost divorced Neil in October 2017, but for now let’s just stick with this.

I will never forget the night that both Neil and I were up till 4am with Olivia as she cried and cried and well… cried!! We were on amazon prime and ordering all the crap in the world that promised to put your child to sleep, yes we got that sheep, whilst downloading apps that gave out noises of hoovers and hair dryers and white noise.  Which to be honest I thought was what happened in the TV in the Poltergeist before the crazy shit happened….

We even played Enya’s Oronoco flow or the sail away song to my fellow 80’s kids…. but nothing worked.  My husband turned to me and asked the dreaded question, ‘Why is she crying’… a simple question yes… but not one you ask a sleep deprived mum!  The simple answer he got was ‘I don’t fucking know’ (I did warn you all about the swearing) how on earth was I to know?  If I knew the reason, then surly I would know how to stop it?!

As I said before, I was a nursery nurse for 13 years prior to having our little girl, and I got told many times that I would be a great mum (except from that one boss that told me I was the most un nurturing person ever…. That is another story and one that shall be entitled ‘confessions of a nursery nurse’) and well, I believed them. How hard could it be? Really fucking hard is the honest answer to that. It is not the same when you have your own, for one you cannot hand them back at 6pm or the occasional 6:05 when the parent was late… they are yours and yours to keep. Even with 13 years’ experience and working with the curriculum for excellence or the birth to 3 documents, nothing can really prepare you for having your own child.

I was given a wonderful book by my wonderful friend ‘The Unmumsy mum’ and if you are planning on having children… read it now.  If you have had kids and either in the shitstorm stage or past it (like I was when I was given it), read it for a good giggle and to know that you are not alone!

I am still learning 3 years in.  The title of this post for example… well I seen single bed duvet and thought that it was for kids.  A 10.4 tog duvet… and wondered why my 3-year-old was sweating each night, putting it down to the bloody awful LOL doll polyester nightie she had on… no, I was just boiling my child.  It took one kind friend to explain that that was too hot for her and prompted me to go out and buy a 4-tog duvet from Asda (£3 total bargain). 

The point of this first post is simple, do not be so hard on yourself. You are doing an amazing job, and if you need help please ask someone (I have included a few links below) and know that you are not alone.

Some useful links

Till next time x